The Long Awaited Death of Bella Swan
by Chasing2morrow
Summary: What SHOULD have happened a LONG time ago. And you all know it. Takes place right after the "Paper Cut Incident". Short oneshot.


Thank my friend, Amber, for this idea. But I guess it sparked when I saw that there were Naruto/Twilight crossovers. You know you wanted this to happen. So, I guess "_speak_" will be Japanese and "speak" will be English.

* * *

The Long Awaited Death of Bella Swan (Also known as: What _SHOULD_ have happened a _**long**_ time ago.)

Tsunade stared wide-eyed at the young man in front of her. "You speak... English?"

The man nodded. "Yes, English."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the man. She had no idea how this man had even gotten here, but she didn't mind, really. That was a lot of money in his hands. _"Shizune!"_ she called out. A woman with black hair stepped up and bowed to the Hokage. _"Get me Kakashi. And Naruto, while you are at it."_

"_Yes sir!"_

The man watched as the woman disappeared, only to reappear a few moments later with a strange man in one hand and an orange blob in the other. He (the man with the money) wondered briefly if these people were vampires like him.

"_You wanted to see me, Tsunade-sama?"_ the silver haired man asked somewhat sarcastically. When the female Hokage pointed behind him, the Jounin lazily turned to face the stranger._ "Ah. I don't like being so used, Tsunade-sama._ You must come from the states."

The stranger was taken aback at the abrupt change in language, as well as the bizarre appearance of the man. He had a mask covering the bottom half of his face and a strange headband covered his left eye as his silvery hair defied gravity. Well, the man didn't _look_ that old... "Ah, yes. I read somewhere that you would be willing to assassinate someone for me, for a price."

"_He wants us to assassinate someone for him,"_ Kakashi told the busty woman behind him without turning back around. He shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched, giving off that strange air of laziness with his posture.

"_He looks like Tsunade-baa-chan!"_ the orange blob exclaimed suddenly from beside Shizune. He pointed a finger at the strange man. _"See, see! He's got blond hair and gold eyes, just like baa-chan!"_

Shizune calmly slapped him upside the head to shut him up. _"Quiet, Naruto,"_ she hissed, annoyed at the blond for acting up in front of their guest. Normally, she would have hated to hit him, but she knew that the strange man in front of them might have been scared off if Tsunade had punched the orange blob- excuse me, _Naruto_- through the wall. Again. Naruto whimpered from her slap, but stayed silent.

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose from Naruto's actions, but looked up at the stranger. _"How much?"_

Kakashi plucked the bag from the stranger's hand and opened it, his lone right eye widening. _"Let's just say you could buy a lot of alcohol."_

"_Start talking."_

Kakashi relayed the message, and the stranger smiled in relief. "My name is Jasper Cullen, and let's just say I really dislike my brother's choice of a girlfriend..."

* * *

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, __**whoa**__. Wait."_ Naruto waved his arms wildly as they followed the stranger named Jasper. _"He wants us to kill some girl because she got a paper cut?"_

"_And then almost killed her, yes,"_ Kakashi replied smoothly. _"He's a vampire."_

Naruto grumbled and glared pointedly at the midnight sky. _"Gee. It all makes sense now."_

"_Plus, she's a whiney bitch,"_ the Jounin explained. _"Or so Jasper says."_

"_And they needed two people because...?"_

"_Jasper said that she would probably do something stupid and escape unscathed. He also told me that she escaped a very powerful vampire with only a crescent shaped star on her hand. From him biting her, apparently." _

"We are here," Jasper said as he stopped in the middle of a street. He stared up at the second story window of a house with repulsion. "I don't care _how_ you kill her. I just want her _dead_. Got that?" Sure, he was acting slightly out of character, but he wanted this girl _**dead**_ before she could cause him any more grief after that paper cut incident.

"Where is she at?" Kakashi blinked at the finger pointing at the window Jasper was currently glaring kunai at. _"Come on, Naruto."_ He walked over to the house with a kunai in hand and placed a foot on the side of the building.

Naruto followed closely, taking out his own kunai as he crept up the side of the house. Kakashi opened the window quietly, hardly breathing as he listened for anyone awake. It was past midnight and nothing moved except for those three. The Jounin, sure that the girl would not wake, stole into the room with the two blonds closely following.

"_I'll kill her,"_ Kakashi offered, standing at the head of the bed. _"I've killed more than you, so it won't affect me. Plus, she's asleep, so it will be easy."_

Naruto frowned and crossed his arms. He could see the reasoning, but he couldn't be silent for very long. _"Tch. Fine, I guess."_ He didn't like killing, anyway.

Kakashi slapped a hand to his face and let it slide down as the girl stirred awake below him. Of _course_ Naruto just had to talk too loud. _I swear_, Kakashi thought, _that boy only has one volume._ The Copy Ninja calmly brought a hand to her face and covered her mouth.

"Shh, little girl. It's okay."

Her eyes widened at the kunai glistening in the moonlight.

Jasper couldn't help the look of absolute glee that spread across his face.

Something toppled over behind them. Kakashi and Jasper turned to see Naruto looking sheepishly from his position at the dresser standing straight with his hands behind his back. _"Go on. Don't mind me!"_

That had given the girl enough time (for Kakashi's hand had slipped in his surprise) to squeal. "Oh, Edward will save me! I just know it-"

Her sentence cut off in a gurgle as a kunai pierced her throat. Naruto grinned and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, kunai nowhere in sight. _"Sorry, Kakashi. But you weren't doing anything, 'ttebayo. What did she say, even?"_

Kakashi pulled out the kunai as he made his voice higher and said, _"Oh, Edward will save me! I just know it!"_

"_...Oh."_

Jasper held up his hand with a menacing grin. Naruto caught the movement and slapped his hand against the other blond's hand.

"Nice working with you."

Even if Naruto hadn't understood the man, he understood the meaning. The Jinchuuriki nodded at the vampire and grinned back. _"Yosh! She seemed annoying for the two minutes I knew her."_

Both ignored the blood that spilled from Isabella Swan's cold, dead body.

"_Tch, seriously,"_ the blond growled as they left the house. He made his voice high pitched and mocking. _"'Edward will save me, 'ttebayo!'"_


End file.
